DON’T stop me now, I’m having such a good time, I’m on a golf buggy. I’m having a ball. Weeeeeeeeee!

I WRITE to you watching a volcano erupting on Bali. It’s gonna be a blast. Wish you were here.

EVERYONE knows the Titanic sank after it hit an iceberg but it seems these dustmen refuse to believe.

THE face of Jesus has been “miraculously” found on the shell of a crab in Malaysia.

THE Colca Canyon is 11 London Shards deep and a must see for anyone visiting the Andes.

I GET hit by a barrelling wave. It’s small in size but knocks me off my surfboard as I attempt to stand up.

THE ladies and gents who visit this WC say this is the best “view on a loo” on the planet.

THERE are men in women’s wigs playing volleyball on the beach and holidaymakers on banana boats. This is Magaluf!

SPRAWLED across two sun beds, I drop off to sleep with a racket in my hand. I haven’t even been playing tennis.